Tuesday, January 20, 2015

2015 Word of the Year: BRAVE

I wanted it to be the Year of the word Dwell or Abide (even though I’ve had that one before…. It would be nice to revisit it again). I wanted a word that soaked in the simple fact of being here at the farm, of growing this big dream and enjoying this place God has given us. I wanted to dwell richly…
and I’ll even cop to a desire to wallow here in this place.
To just enjoy what we’ve been given.
But no such peaceful, quiet, simple Word of the Year was to be mine for 2015.
Nope.
Instead, God quite firmly spoke to me in my wallowing and gave me my Word of the Year.
To which I said, “No. Please, no. I want to dwell. I want to abide. I want to wallow! Your Word is going to require work and pain and patience... I just know it will require a lot of me. Maybe too much of me, Lord and I don’t want it.”
Yeah, I whined just a wee bit.
Good thing He's a God who hears, who knows, who is patient with such a wretch as I.
He wouldn't let me turn from it. I could not get away from the push and tug of it. God has pushed it at me for weeks and weeks now and I have submitted. I am accepting it fully. I want to say, "accepting with reservations." But my reservations don't matter, because I have decided to embrace this word, because it's His.

2015 is the Year of BRAVE


And God’s already been talking to me about what that entails…. 
That it's so much more than....

Being brave is adventurous, except when it’s braver to not be.
It’s loud and in charge and stepping out, except when it’s quiet, meek, and following.
It’s tough and courageous, except when it’s soft, malleable and mild.
It’s “stiff upper lip” except when it’s braver to weep until you've got nothing left.
It’s about climbing that big, tall, scary mountain and all the adrenalin and spiritual high that brings, except when it’s about sitting in the valley and fully experiencing what comes, fully…. Moment by moment and believing through it all that God still reigns supreme.

It’s the quiet, deeper parts of being brave that are making my knees rattle.
Too often I think brave is about doing, going forth and conquering when it’s apparent that brave is also about being… being still, listening, going nowhere and allowing yourself to be conquered.
Because it’s the very bravest you can be when you give God complete and conquering control of whatever you possess.


It’s about me trying out some new things>>>
Like making fancy brioche bread (Recipe coming soon!)
And other new recipes
Or keeping at this hand-lettering thing I started
And creating
Or making art just for the sake of making
Stepping out in new ministries and the bravery to step out of the one God is calling me from

And being brave about other things>>>
Like my Lu graduating…
And starting college in the fall
Mads turning 15….
And taking drivers ed in the summer
And the Boy, my Sam, finishing 5th grade…
Which means middle school in the fall
Like stepping away from our homeschool group
…. that we’ve been with for ten years, because God said it’s time and I have to be brave and just do it

And it’s about the continuing brave that’s already been started>>>
Like this farm dream we’re in
With more animals, a bigger garden, planting an orchard
Raising my kiddos
And homeschooling
Being the help-meet my man needs
Knowing… yes there is bravery in the knowing…. Knowing that I am enough. That I am beautiful and competent
Genuine…. The bravery to be the genuine real me with myself and with others
Writing…. Because a writer’s gotta write. It can't be helped. And that’s what I am…. A writer. [that’s a braver statement than some think, right there.]

And being brave enough to hop off this crazy merry-go-round at least a few times a week to carve out and capture bits of quiet just for me…. To do things just because I want to do them…. For me. Or do nothing. Nothing at all. For no reason at all.
Which right now seems like one of the bravest things I can do with my time.

I know that it will also be about bigger, scarier, knee-knocking braves that will require much of me.... and I am preparing the only way I can, knees to the ground, head bowed and heart willing. I'm praying for the strength, courage, boldness, grace, determination, and discernment to be the brave He is desiring to work in and through me. 


It’s about the big and the small braves, the loud and the quiet braves- all of them together that pepper, coax and weave themselves into my daily living. And choosing them.
Yep.

2015- I accept the challenge-
I choose to be B R A V E

Let's do this!



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