Week Twenty-two finds me a bit battered.
And very weary.
Worn-out and worn down.
The house sale is a mess. I don't wish to go into details.... it's just a mess. It looks like if we want to help the sale go through that we will be wiping out our savings to make some needed repairs. We're in a quandary as to which way to go on this.
It's hard, I won't deny it. We are disappointed and sad. My heart is weary.
|Painting the stair railing at the farm... that ceiling was wallpapered and its the bane of my farm existence....|
I know that this entire situation is in God's hands.
That He is still leading and that His best is still before us.
And yet I ache.
And still I worship.
And believe.... have faith that He's got this.
No matter what happens.... no matter how long this takes- we will praise Him.
I can't do anything but praise Him....
even in the midst of my weary worn-outness.
I choose to live in confidence and in faith. I know He provides.
I have a sweet friend, who likes to say to me "Count it all joy!" [James 1:2] when I'm dealing in life's inevitable difficulties and am floundering. So I hunt for the ways to count this joy- and in turn add to my thankfuls list..... and yet, I admit that there are moments when this is a struggle.
Am I not stating the obvious when I say that it can be seriously hard to find joy in the midst of trying times? Am I the only one who struggles under the weight of trials and mulishly doesn't want to count even a morsel of joy in the circumstances? Who wants to whine to God, "Why do these things always have to be a struggle? Why can't it just be easy for once?"
Count it all Joy....
How can I find joy in a crumbling house sale?
I can believe it's God's will and He has something better planned.
I can be thankful for:
that this is an opportunity for me to grow and trust more
that I can model what it means to have grace in the midst of trial to my kiddos
if the sale falls through, the repairs we make will benefit us for when it does sell
I can also continue to prepare (my fields) for rain (think Facing the Giants- this here)
So we squeeze in what time we can at the farm- preparing.
The Mister and Lu have been hard at work scraping, patching and priming The Boy's room.... it is by far, the worst off and most in need of work.
We've also been working in the hallway when we've got a can of paint open that matches.... but its not high priority right now.
Sassafras has been helping me in the room we're making the family closet- my tall girl has been priming and painting the ceiling and the hard to reach places for me while I work on the walls and trim.
I painted the closet door- Blue Lagoon.
Because it makes me smile.
And I need that.