Thursday, October 24, 2013

All that is good here.... I'm taking with me.

Concerning house sales and future plans and all that.... and the need to bring y'all up to speed-

Allow me to back this train up a bit and share.... we're not moving to just another house located a little ways towards somewhere else....
Oh no. That's not how we roll.
We are coming full circle for this God Girl....
We're heading home.

My growing up home.....

My roots.... I'll be bringing the fifth generation with me- to live in this place...

A house, some land, a barn, a chicken coop and 5 Wagners.
And my parents.


Oh yes, indeedy. We're buying the farm.
From my parents.
And then we're all gonna live together while they build their little house in the field just to the west.

Ohbestillmyheart.

It's gonna be an adventure.
So we're making plans.
But making room for God to determine our steps.

The Mister and I have been dreaming of a country home for well over ten years. We weren't actively searching, just dreamin' dreams and then one day my parents sit us down and make us an offer.....
And we pray about it.
A whole lotta lots.
And then we said yes.

That's a few sentences that encompass a few years of story right there.
It took me two years to come to place where I was okey-dokey with putting our home up for sale. Which is a bit crazy when you think that once upon a time I didn't love this place.
This right here is a piece of that particular story...
I learned to bloom here and God has taught me so very, very much here.
I've grown babies here, and all the years of memories that go along with that....
There's a penciled growth chart on the doorway to my bedroom that marks the growth of years....
There's an apple tree planted here  that was a college graduation gift from my grandparents that only really started bearing good fruit this year....
And a lilac planted the spring after Ms. Books was born....
Gardens I've tended for almost 20 years.... stairs worn with the tread of our shoes.... a nick in the baseboard from a badly aimed and fully loaded sling shot. Bible verses scrawled on walls and painted over in a few rooms.... these are the things that tugged at this mama heart of mine.

I needed to find a way to deal with all that so I could be okay when that sign went up in our yard. One way I did that was to go into every room and sit. I sat and thought of a cascade of memories from that particular room and then I prayed. I prayed that the memories would stay fresh with me when the details of the room faded away with time. I thanked God for all the good He has given us that has permeated these walls and asked Him to watch over the family that is coming after us. I asked Him to help me say good-bye.
That was my beginning....
Two weeks after the house had been for sale and we'd only had one showing, I decided to go out and sit on the swing set that dark night and talk to God about my disappointment and such. Not too long after I began sharing my heart with Him, I found myself walking around the house instead of sitting on that swing. I felt it impressed upon me that I had to keep walking until I let go of all of the me that I'd wrapped up in this crazy adventure. I do believe I walked around this house approximately 20 times..... which just so happens to be the same number of years we've lived here. And as I walked and talked with Him, my unease subsided and I knew every little thing betwixt and between would be okay. This house has been a good home to us but I'll take it with me when these four peoples that I love with all that I am go with me to our new-ish place. I'll really be taking it all with me.... God gave me such a peace that beautiful night. A peace that I still continue to carry with me.
As I walked in the house after that wonderful quiet time with Him, the Mister looked over at me.... checking on me and I was able to say, "I'm good. This is good. I really am ready. If this house burned down tomorrow I would still have my home...."
And I felt compelled to tell my husband... the man with the fun, wild farm dreams:
"Where you go I will go and where you stay I will stay.... we'll take our people with us and we'll serve God together wherever He sees fit to plant us."

And that right there banished the indecision. It is no more.

May the adventure continue....


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