Tuesday, April 2, 2013

O God, You are my God

O God, you are my God;
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
my whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen you in your sanctuary
and gazed upon your power and glory.
Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
how I praise you!
I will praise you as long as I live,
lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy.
I lie awake thinking of you,
meditating on you through the night.
Because you are my helper,
I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you;
your strong right hand holds me securely.
Psalm 63:1-8



Yesterday morning I had the privilege of sharing a portion of my quiet time with Dad W. This a favorite Psalm of mine that I revisit often. I cannot put to words what an honor it was in that quiet moment to read to him right from The Word. God, as always, was ever-present and filled that space with His warmth and love.
The day progressed and God walked with us every step of the way and last evening, shortly before midnight Dad W made his transition from this earth to God’s waiting arms. He was in the shadow of His wings and God’s strong right hand held him securely as He brought him home. It was peaceful and in the presence of his wife and one of his sons.
My in-laws were married for 57 years and 7 months. My Mr. Steady is child #7 out of 9. Seven boys and then two girls. Over the past few weeks, I have watched God work through this family in amazing ways. I have seen Dad W’s boys be Jesus with skin on as they held and turned their Dad with the gentlest of care to help ease the pain from the bed sores. I watched my husband cradle his father’s head in his hands and look at him with such love and compassion. I watched my husband, the father of my children, be the son. In nineteen years of marriage, I thought I knew every facet and look on my husband’s face but this one I had not paid attention to- this one of him as the son. To me- he is The Man, my husband, my rock, my 3’s father, the steady to my turbulence, the fixer, the encourager, the one who holds my hand and gives it that little squeeze that still makes my heart flutter.
I forgot this part… what it means to be a son, layered on top of being my husband, their father, friend to many, man of God.
And I watched his brothers. I watched them love. Love their wives, love their children, love their siblings and love their parents. That house has been so steeped in heaps of love these past few weeks that the roof should be clear off.
These past few weeks have opened my eyes. I have seen me and mine push ourselves past our comfort zones and straight into the depths of God’s will and willing arms. All the times I said, “I could never do that.” Jesus showed up and showed me I could.
Not since my children were small, have I had to work so hard to maintain the balance of wife and mom. And when they were smalls- their needs usually trumped all, now the flipside… here was a golden opportunity for me to live out real love in front of my children, to show love in action- our vows spelled out in word and deed. How could I not grasp the enormousness of this opportunity to show my husband another layer of my love for him and to show my children this is what is real.
And what do my children do in return? Yesterday morning as I prepared to go and stay with my in-laws to help with Dad W’s care, my children each in turn from the nine year old, to the thirteen year old to the sixteen year old, each child prayed over me, for me, for their father, for their grandparents…. they poured out real love to me in return. Right there in the midst of the laundry and schoolbooks. I left for my in-laws feeling like I could move mountains.
We have these coming difficult days that will continue to test our strength and our family love but I know that God is more than big enough to handle what is before us.

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