Tuesday, March 5, 2013

When He is Nine... which is today

Today is your DAY my son.
Happy N I N E.

Funny how this 9 hits this mama's heart harder than when the girls hit it...
Your last year in the single digits, you said so yourself.

I know why this 9 is different...
and it isn't because you're my last... my last one to turn nine. My Baby.

It's because of what you said almost four years ago... not too many days after you asked Jesus into your heart.
"When I am 9, I will be baptized."

You, my son, are what people call an old soul. You already live big. You already have plans. You get things at your tender age that took me decades to grasp. You stun me with your determination and rock solid, no holds barred love for Jesus. You believe with complete abandon and it amazes me. I still remember the look of complete joy and utter freedom on your face after you asked Jesus into your heart. I remember your words that night:
Jesus has always been in my heart, Mama. But now He's ALL in."
I remember how you celebrated when your Uncle Dan became a Christian a few weeks later. I remember how you said to me, "Satan use to have a hold of Uncle Dan and me but not anymore. Not now that we both have Jesus all the way in our whole hearts."

See, Boy, you undo me.

I've watched your eagerness and over the top anticipation as you've counted down to this day. Your day to be 9.
Just yesterday you said to me: One more day, Mama! One. More. Day!
And I responded with a questioning, "'Til what?"
You, with twinkling eyes and the knowledge of my teasing, "'Til I'm 9!"
But then you tacked on, "And you know what happens when I'm 9?"
Mama: You grow antlers?
You shook your head at me, all smiles and proudly proclaimed: No! I get baptized!

Yes, my Boy, you get baptized. 
And I see that to you, baptism is a gift in a way I never knew it to be.
I see you get it.
Last year Pastor heard you eagerly stating you're plans for baptism and he remarked that you didn't have to wait until you were 9, that you could do it right away. I  thought you'd change your mind but you smiled big and looked at him with determination and stated, "No. I'll be baptized when I'm 9. That's next year, you know."

Why 9? I think you and Jesus are the only ones who know why 9 is so important to you. You've never, in four years, wavered from the decision of it. You understand the bold statement that it is and you are most eager for it. Most eager.

So, today you turn 9.
And on Easter Sunday morning you will be baptized.
You, who nightly put in your prayers this phrase, "Jesus, please grow me into a great godly man."
Are growing into a godly young man right before my eyes.
It overwhelms me and makes my heart get all sappy. But it also steels in me a determination, as your mama, to do my very bestest along with your Daddy to raise you into that GREAT godly man.

I love you, my son, all nine years of you that grow you out long and lean and almost to my chin. Nine years of deepening dimples and crazy up to your ears cleverness, bubbling hilarity and incredible imagination.

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
My Baby you'll be.



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