Tuesday, December 18, 2012

In the quiet, prayers and singing. He reigns.

Dear readers... forgive the quietness here. It was not in my plans to be absent. But we know how plans can go and be changed without you choosing...
Last week was full of wonderfulness and celebration here at the homestead as we spent a great deal of our week celebrating Ms. Books turning sweet sixteen. I found I couldn't write not just due to my level of busy, but because of my too full heart. I was speechless in the overflow of God's amazing goodness.... 
Yet there were a interspersed a few unexpected painful moments as I found myself confounded by a deep yearning and heartache for the baby we lost to miscarriage. Mr. Steady held me as I cried with renewed grief the day after she turned sixteen. We talked in the dark that night of God's sovereignty and His goodness always. Always good. As we held each other and talked of what might have been it turned to all that Ms. Books is and how God has blessed us with such an amazing daughter. Plain and simply put, if our first child had lived we wouldn't have Ms. Books and the treasure she is to us. God's ways are better than ours, even in the midst of it all, of that I have no doubt. Beauty from ashes.

I fully expected to be back to my regular posting yesterday, but it didn't happen. I couldn't see posting a weekly menu plan when there are families mourning lost loved ones.

And today...
Today I have spent a great deal of  time in prayer.

Praying for Newtown families burying loved ones today,  that God would meet them right where they are at, that He would hold the broken hearts in His hands and bring His peace that does not need understanding.
Prayer for my Dad as I got the call early this morning that his workplace had been broken into in the wee hours and he is dealing with the aftermath. Praying grace for him as he deals with this mess, strength and renewed energy as he tackles a full day of work on top of a mostly sleepless night already spent at work.
Prayers for my neighbors. After trying unsuccessfully to keep their home, it has been foreclosed on and they must move this week. Days before Christmas. They didn't decorate, instead they packed boxes these last weeks. The moving van goes back and forth, back and forth today and my prayers go out as I see it pass. Prayers for a family we've been trying to show the love of Jesus to for these few years they've lived beside us. I pray today, that wherever they move to next, that God would have spirit-filled believers next door who will consistently show them the love of Jesus with grace and mercy. I pray that the softening of their hearts will continue and they would see the Hope of Jesus and someday claim it as their own.
Prayers for my community. Today I found out a junior high boy from a local school took his life last night. Kids in our youth group knew him, one girl had been trying to reach out to him. 
People are hurting everywhere. My heart is heavy and I go to prayer.

I pray.
And I sing.
Because I cannot help myself.
These words begin as a hum and soon I am singing....
Singing my prayers.

Chris Tomlin's Whom Shall I Fear
From the Lyrics:
And nothing formed against me shall stand

You hold the whole world in Your hands
I’m holding onto Your promises
You are faithful

--- He is God of the angel armies. He goes before us. He stands with us. He is behind us. He hems us in and holds us close. Of this I have no doubt. I will continue to hold on to His promises and rest in His amazing goodness.

David Crowder's After All (Holy)
From the Lyrics:
I will sing a song for you my God with everything I have in me
But it's never loud enough after all
You are Holy
Oh Holy
Holy, Holy, Holy

Oh Lord Jesus-  Please hold us close in your arms today. I cannot comprehend it all, it's just not possible. But You, Lord, You hold the very weight of all of it in Your hands and in Your heart. Please Jesus bring beauty from these ashes, bring healing, bring miracles. Reign sovereign over this day, Lord. Be a constant companion and balm to each pain-filled heart.
Oh Jesus, I will sing with everything I have in me, no matter the circumstances that surround me. You are good, always good. You are faithful. You are holy.

May I end this with a few words pulled from Ann Voskamp's precious book, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are....
"... My pain, my dark-- all  the world's pain, all the world's dark... Emptiness itself can birth the fullness of grace... Darkness transfigures into light, bad transfigures into good, grief transfigures into grace, empty transfigures into full. God wastes nothing-- "makes everything work out according to his plan " (Ephesians 1:11)" [page 97]

May more grace be birthed today.


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