And it has been right there, in the back of my mind, creeping out at me in small moments ever since.
I've been noodling on grace lately.
Oh yes, again.
The giving and receiving of grace.
Both can be hard.
To give grace can push you to the limits of you in the toughest of circumstances.
To receive grace can also push you past your comfort levels.
I have been in these places this past year.
I cannot help but think on the times I have extended forgiveness to another but withheld grace.
Oh yes- I do believe you can do that.
Just as I believe you can accept another's forgiveness but brush off their gift of grace. The grace being harder to accept than the forgiving. Accepting another's grace is giving up your rights- rights to be right, to retribution, retaliation... it means letting it go. Gone for good.
And yet- that is what I want others to do for me. Want them to accept my forgiveness and grace so that I might not be punished again and again for my mistakes.
And I have to do the same for myself. Sometimes the person that gives me the hardest time for my mistakes is my own self. Yep.
I so want to get everything right. I'm a bit of a perfectionist (cough, cough)
So this has become a lovely thought to me- to stop holding myself to a standard of perfection and instead bestow grace upon my own self.
That's some lovely loveliness right there.
Today I will practice grace.
And on myself.
See to it that no one fails to
obtain the grace of God;
that no “root of bitterness”
springs up and causes trouble...