Thursday, July 12, 2012

My Mess for His Glory

I am His.
I am enough today.
My mess is the perfect place for His Glory.
- Kristen Welch

Please take a moment and read this post at (in)courage by Kristen from We Are That Family... she's writing from my heart today.
An elbow in my side reminder.
So much going on in my head and laid on my heart. So many opportunities for service and I wonder which is the right one for me? And how can I serve when I fail day in and day out to serve the ones closest to me?
The ones right here in my home, put in my care, who more often than not get pieces of me when I'm dishing out my best to the world? I'm upside down and inside out and it's not good.

But right now I am reminded that my mess, no matter its size, isn't too much for God. Failure today doesn't mean failure tomorrow and failure to live up to my own expectations doesn't mean that I really did fail... after all, I tell my loves that if you did your very bestest then it's not a failure. I'm thinking, perhaps, I need to be listening to my own pep talks.

I came back from vacation to reality and struggled for a couple of days to find my place again... not my place at home-- that still fits fine-- but my place with friends, at church, in my out and about living and serving. To be honest, I'm still struggling with what I should be doing and I don't think its the "I just came back from vacation blues", nope, I'm thinking God caught me in the quiet on vacation and still wants to work some of that out with me. I feel Him nudging me to step into places I'm not sure my feet will fit... and to remove myself from others that have proven fine fits for years. Perhaps that's the problem- fine fits are comfort zones that lead to complacency....
And one thing I know for sure-- He's pushing me to fight the complacency-- He's gently pulling me towards something new.
Again and again I am reminded to trust Him. Trust Him with my day to day living. Trust Him for this next step, that He'll see to it that my feet fit as I step into new places.
I'm praying. And I'm sinking myself more deeply into these loves that live with me- making sure to not give leftover bits and pieces but the best, most choicest of them.


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