Friday, June 22, 2012

Trust and struggles and writing and not

Its been a struggle.
I want to write.
I need to write.
I crave it.
I have a list of ideas to be writing about... I am often composing pieces in my head...
but the timing.
Oh the timing.
Is lousy.

Life happen ya' know.

I had planned toparticipate in this bible study and write here about it every Thursday.
It hasn't happened.
And the good girl inside me has been screaming at me on how I've let myself and my readers down.
down
down
down

Harrumph. That's not letting go of the try hard life... its the opposite.
Which pretty much defeats the whole purpose of me reading that book. Sigh.
So here I sit, knowing I've got to quit trying so hard to find time for these things... its stressing me out.
And believe me when I say, there are plenty other things going on that are stressing me without adding this to the pile...

God has really been talking to me this week about my TRUST {my word of the year}.
He's been nudging me about all these things in my life that I'm trying so hard to control...
He's been reminding me to Trust Him
Trust His perfect timing, not my own schedule
Trust His goodness, not my own attempts
Trust His mercy, because I don't seem to have much
Trust His strength first-- mine's never enough, not even from the beginning
Trust His perfect plans, not my own planning...




My circumstances have been demanding more of my time lately... which doesn't leave a lot of time to sneak away and write.
But more than that- God needs to be planning my days. Not me.
So He and I sit down every morning and I say, "Lord, help me prioritize my day. Lead me to the most important tasks and help me filter the rest."
I'm a wife and mom first and foremost so those tasks are priority and they've been taking a lot of time lately as the family schedule has gone all wonky. No summer slump here.

I gotta stop trying to take over and just simply be.
I gotta trust Him to light my way and guide my next step.




My confidence is in Him.

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