Monday, January 9, 2012

Dry desert quenching

Isn't it interesting that you can hear a song once, twice... twelve or more times and you think, "Nice song."
And then one day, ONE day... the words of the song totally and completely hit you upside the head and dig right into the heart of you.
BIG Time.
That happened to me just yesterday...
With this song.
Fall Apart by Josh Wilson (click for lyrics)

Here's where it gets me...
Why in the world did I think I could- Only get to know you when my life was good
When everything just falls in place-- The easiest thing is to to give You praise
Now it all seems upside down
'Cause my whole world is caving in-- But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me-- And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more-- Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart

... It hits me hard because I've just come from here.
Writing and speaking these words:
Jesus couldn't be my everything until
I was willing to be nothing.
It all led me to some deeper thinking... the retreat, words spoken to teenagers, words--conversations shared with teenagers... hearts  speaking.
And I was asked-- more than once-- what about the dry times?
What about the times when I try hard and God is quiet?
When I feel like I'm in the midst of a spiritual drought and I'm holding water right here in my hand... I'm reading my bible, I'm studying faithfully....
Why is He silent and What do I do?

The hardest places to  be aren't always in the valley of pain and suffering.
It can be hard to be in-between.
It can be hard to find God, to hear God in the everyday ordinary living...
What do you do when your world isn't caving in but you feel dry?
When everything just falls in place-- The easiest thing is to to give You praise
Easy then... and I have begun to find it easy(ier) to give praise in the valleys of hardships too... but can you praise in the midst of the desert?
In the dryness-- when your heart cracks like dry dirt from dehydration?
I have experienced dry spells... times when I know God is still there but He is silent. When I have done everything to keep Him near, knowing I didn't stray, Yet the quiet is thunderously loud and I can about taste the dryness in my mouth.
What about those times?
I think those times are some of thee hardest and therefore it is of the utmost importance that I continue to pray, to seek, to read and write and talk to Him and sing and praise and trust.
Ah, trust.
I must continue to make the statement- No matter what I will praise Him.
And I add to that: No matter what I will trust Him.
Even when I don't feel Him.
So- Why in the world would I think I could only get to know You when life is good?
Or difficult-- when You are all I have in the midst of suffering?
Why only in the mountains and in the valleys?

I will trust You- no matter what. 
Even when I can't hear you. Even when I can't feel You.
Keep me yearning for You. Seeking hard after You.
Quench my thirst.


  1. Oh Amy, I needed to read this...thank you so very much.

  2. Looking for your pin about getting rid of stinky towels, only to be lovingly, and divinely guided to reading your above Following you on pintrest now! (((Hugs))) michelle



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