Tuesday, April 5, 2011

These Days

Quiet time....
There are days when I don’t want to be the mama. Of course these are the bad days. Everybody wants to be the mama on good days.
There are also days when I don’t want to be the mama-teacher. I don’t want to teach them how to fix dangling participles, identify bird bones, solve improper fractions, spell innocuous or read aloud about gibbons and lemurs. I don’t want to grade the math test where a whole section of answers is wrong, or edit the half page paragraph that only contains two punctuation marks. I don’t want to get all the art supplies out for a half hour worth of art or let them conduct an experiment on the kitchen table with red dye, baking soda, vinegar and my nice tablecloth.
These kind of days are high on frustration and low on patience. These are the days when they don’t understand me and I don’t quite try to understand them. These are the kind of days that are so bad they make the humdrum days beautiful.
I seriously dislike these kinds of days. More than that, I seriously dislike myself on these kinds of days.
These are what I call EGR Days.
 These are the days that go from bad to worse so quick you get whiplash. Twice.
These are the days when I know I am nowhere near mom enough to take this on. These are the days when I need Him to pour out an extra measure of grace on me.
Make that two extra measures.
These are the days when I wish grace was in the water and I could take an hour long shower ‘til I soak it up so much it’s oozing out my pores.
These are weak days…. And yet there is hope.
Jesus said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” [2 Corinthians 12:9].
E. G. R.
These are the days when I stop school and call for us all to have a recess of prayer. We either pray where we are or go off to a favorite quiet spot to be alone with Him.
These are the moments when I cry out for that extra grace to be given to me.
These are the days when I ask Him to change my heart, mind and soul to one that more resembles Him…. To pour out grace and mercy on me so that I may in turn pour it out on my children.
These are the days when I realize most keenly how much we are all learning together. It’s not all about the academics we are learning but the leaning and persevering and trusting on the One Who Made Us… about this everyday, ordinary walking around life lived in the midst of His grace… that’s the kind of learning I’m talking about…
The learning that every day steeped in Him is a good day no matter how wrong it goes.
The learning that we can stop and seek quiet refuge in Him when things overwhelm us.
The learning that my children see lived out in me daily- that learning never stops and growth never stops and we must strive for both. Daily.
So when these EGR Days roll around and I am swept up in the messy chaos and steeped in my own ugliness & unwillingness and I doubt my skills of leading and teaching and would rather go crawl under the blankets and hide than be the adult…. These days when I am weakest….
He can use my weakness to teach me, to teach my children about His strength.
His strength that is perfected in our weakness- Perfect strength that comes when we admit how truly weak we are and open ourselves up to His Extra Grace.
Then we see… how amazingly His strength subdues the chaos, restores order and mends the hearts and souls of weary, worn-out mama-teachers and the children they love dearly.
He gives strength, courage and grace for today and bright hope for tomorrow.

Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts. 
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired, 
   gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out, 
   young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. 
   They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired, 
   they walk and don't lag behind.
Isaiah 40:28-31 (The Message)


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