Wednesday, March 9, 2011

His Great Grace and taking up the Privilege of Letting Go


He has saved us and called us to a holy life—
not because of anything we have done 
but because of his own purpose and grace. 
This grace was given us in Christ Jesus 
before the beginning of time 
- 2 Timothy 1:9



Not because of anything I have done....
thank goodness- because in the grand scheme of things I haven't done much, haven't succeeded as often as I'd like....
But because of His own purpose and grace.
His Grace.
Oh. Yes. His great great grace.
Before the beginning of time....
Oh. To think HIS grace has always and forever been available.... ready for the taking.
Isn't that just wonderfulness in its purest form?
He daily, moment by moment offers grace....
Which I am daily, moment by moment in need of....
How completely and utterly astounding
and humbling.
I had me some bad, bad moments this past weekend.... when I let the shock of a let-down override good sense and the deep love I have for someone very close to me.... I lashed out with words- more than once, more than twice.... I stewed, I fumed, frustration was my companion and my heart hurt and my head hurt and I felt miserable and awful.... I spoke and acted miserable and awful....
I extended no grace to one I love dearly....
This verse rocks me as I realize the grace I am so ready to grasp and receive from my Maker is not a grace I was willing to step out and pour over someone I love.
I am ashamed of my behavior.
I asked forgiveness from the one I love and stood ready and expectant to immediately receive their grace without even realizing how incredibly wrong I was.
How I compounded it with my grasping for the filling of my emotional needs from someone fallible, completely forgetting where I am to first go for the fulfilling I need.... to Him who made me and knows me better than myself....
And yet- the one I love did not once hesitate to instantly give me this grace and forgiveness despite my attitude and the tone of my asking. I snatched it with unmatched greed and still offered nothing in return but bitter heartache and resistance.... holding on to my hurt because I could, because I deserved to, because I was wronged and things did not go my way....
Interesting thought- holding on did not make me better but continually bitter. Today, after days of the one I love showing me with words and actions that I am indeed continually loved, thought of and cherished.... days of going out of their comfort zone to speak my love language in big and small ways....
It wasn't until today as I began this post that I realized that while I have the right to hold on to it because I was wronged.... 
I also have the privilege of letting it go.
I do not have to hold on
I can let go
And in doing so I release myself to a fuller acceptance of grace and a great big dollop of mercy.
To what was so freely extended to me.... in letting go I can do the same.
I am sorry.
I was wrong.
Please forgive me.
May HIS great grace extend over us and cover us and continue to show us on our best and worst days that it is not by our own making- by anything we have done or will do but by HIS great grace and abundant mercy; by His purpose and His purpose alone that we are free. I release myself and the one I love from carrying the burdens of my expectations that should be left at HIS feet. To Christ be the glory forever and ever- He whose  mercy is great, whose grace is limitless and whose love is eternal and unconditional--- Amen.

3 comments:

  1. Amy,
    This is beautiful....you are a talented, gifted writer, my friend.
    "...Drawn to redemption by the Grace in His eyes~~If His Grace is an ocean~~we're all sinking...." --David Crowder Band ((How He Loves))
    If only we all could grasp His infinite Grace and Mercy and extend it to all others....I pray that for my life..and the lives around me..

    ReplyDelete
  2. Trace- Thanks. Love the line from DCB. I wanna love like Jesus loves.... most days its easy some days its super hard. So thankful for his infinite Grace and Mercy for us all. :o)

    ReplyDelete

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