Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Why I must Write

Write them deep within your heart.
~ Proverbs 3:3c

Write.... write... write.... it repeats in my head.... my fingers itching to find outlet- be it pen or keyboard.
Why write…. Why blog
What do these words I scrawl on paper mean…. Meaning-- have meaning?
Why is it I feel these words have meaning enough to send them out to here….
I have a need to write….
I don’t know how to describe it other than…. simply put- it is a clawing, craving, sometimes nagging, pushing ache within me….
Not to mention the healing writing brings me…. There is no such thing as “mere words” when healing can be found in the spaces between.
My words take shape so much better on paper (or the screen) then when spoken out loud…. I put more thought to it on paper…. Mulling over, editing and polishing…. Bringing about something bigger and brighter than quickly spoken words can….
Writing is often my catharsis…. Always my therapy….
There are things that need writing to push it out and then, when the pen is laid down and the writing is finished- these things need to be destroyed or simply forgotten…. It’s the act of getting it out that is necessary.
And at other times, it’s not just the getting it out but the putting it out there….
Putting it on here….
Two weeks ago surely proved that to me when I struggled to find the words to explain to others what it was like to be there in the room as my grandmother passed away…. I was frustrated by what I felt in my heart and head and was unable to push out with my voice.
It sat inside me for two days then exploded forth in writing…. One moment the computer screen is blank and the next it’s filled with my words and the room filled with the click-click-clickity-clack of my furious typing….
It just poured out.
When writing pours out of me like that I’ve learned there is something more to it than an alphabet rearranged on paper…. I’ve learned my words have meaning bigger than even my imagination.
It needs to be shared....
I’ve also learned that I need objectivity and accountability and so before those words come here to this small space I share them with my husband, sometimes my sister, sometimes a friend…. But always with Mr. Steady. And he helps me to see beyond the words to the picture they create….
Often, he tells me to share…. And sometimes, he tells me to let it go…. Keep it secret.
I am ever so thankful that he understands what words mean to me and is more concerned than I with protecting me from my own words.
And so I write.... and sometimes I publish- here.
Not for fame but for freedom....
Freeing the words that are written inside me on my heart....
And taking the chance that something I say here will have impact out there.... be remembered, cause someone to think, to feel, inspire, free....
That I will make my mark and in turn leave a mark elsewhere.




2 comments:

  1. I love your writing. you have something to say, and you say it.You speak things from your heart, and share them here.Keep up the good work! Blessings jane

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Jane- for your sweet, kind & encouraging words.
    God Bless-
    Amy

    ReplyDelete

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