Wednesday, November 10, 2010

How you give- its more important than what you give

I love reading Ann’s blog…. The words, the photography…. The stirrings….

I started contributing my gratitudes on Multitude Mondays a few weeks ago.
Wednesdays are Walk With Him Wednesday…. From Ann-
“Every Wednesday, we Walk with Him, posting a spiritual practice that draws us nearer to His heart….”
And for the next few weeks Ann and others are focusing on The Practice of Giving- How do we GIVE thanks? How does doing thanks look like?

Today’s assignment: How You Give …
I’m a bit late in the day for posting…. I had to think on it….
I didn’t want the flippant answers….
I wanted to give an answer that matters….
Give…
How I give….
And as I thought on this and it sat in the back of my brain throughout much of the day….
I said to myself….
How I give?
And the answer came in the midst of the ordinary, every day chaos that is my life….
I give my heart.
I thought on that- my heart? …. and it brought to mind a saying I scrawled in my quote book….
You can give without loving
but you cannot love without giving.
Hmmm. Yes, there have been times I have given without loving…. Given because it was necessary, prompted or required.
But you cannot love without giving….
Yes, I get that.
Hmm.
So is it real giving- the kind of giving we are really talking about- if you don’t have your heart in it?
I don’t think so.
And so How do you give…. Really, truly give?
With your whole heart split wide open and bleeding.
Know anybody that’s given like that?
I do.
His name is Jesus.
What an example of giving…. True giving.
How we give is just as important as what we give….
Do I give with my heart or with excuses?
Would I give my last two pennies like the widow with her palm wide open hearing the tinkle of her little in a jar that held much more? Did she wonder if what she gave mattered? Did she understand how much it really did? Was her heart full while her palm and pocket were empty?
It’s not what we give but how we give it….
She gave freely…. Do I?
Honestly? Not always.
There are times I’m scared to give because it will mean holding less than…. Or it would mean leaving myself open to possible hurt and pain….
There is faith in giving.
Stepping out and seeing something as more than, bigger than…. My own selfishness.
I want to give with my heart and hands wide open…. Freely and willingly.
It scares me.
To give like this does not shelter the soft wounded parts of me
But instead leaves me full out open and exposed.
What would I lose by doing that? …. This question haunts me.
But this question haunts me more…. What would I lose by not doing it?
Or better yet
What could I gain?
I’ve already gained a great deal of perspective here.
True giving means giving with my heart.
Even if it scares me.
Even if it changes me.
Most definitely it should change me.
Which leads me to thinking about how I give….
or better yet... how I should give.... how I should view giving....
With my heart so much so that it changes me.

1 comment:

  1. Just found your blog from link at Ann's site. WONDERFUL...how you have blessed me with your words, with your heart...thanks for the encouragement!

    ReplyDelete

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