Friday, April 30, 2010

Domesticity

I love my job(s).
I love being our family manager.
I love being the keeper of my home.
But this winter, in the deepest, darkest part of it that seemed to last and last and last…
I didn’t.
Didn’t what?
You name it—I didn’t do it.
Take down and put away the Christmas decorations? Started out after Christmas and it took me ‘til mid-February to finish and even then- I packed haphazardly and half-heartedly. I used the kids reasoning—they wanted to keep the tree up and decorate it for Valentine’s Day… but deep down I didn’t keep it up for them, I just didn’t want to be bothered with taking it down.
Correctly file paperwork? That big pile on the floor by my desk wasn’t a file?
Clothes that needed sorting?
Closets that needed cleaning out and rearranging?
Snow gear but away?
Books returned to proper shelves?
This, that and the other was left undone in my home.
Why?
My heart was hurting.
Deeply hurting—aching more than it had in many, many years.
I didn’t feel like keeping up with anything.
It took all of my energy to teach my children, make the meals, wash the laundry and keep dirt and cobwebs at bay. I didn’t have anything leftover to take care of the “incidentals”.
But those incidentals are like molehills that become mountains.
When I finally began to emerge from the depths those mountains made me want to turn around and go back.
But by now, I had gotten back my “pluck”…
And the snow had melted… the sun was shining…
God was working on my aching heart…
And I was determined.
I took care of one pile.
One corner of a room.
The Bathroom renovations came upon us and I took care of a whole room.
Granted an uber-small one but a room none-the-less.
I tackled the pantry-- another small room, but 3 bags of trash and 1 donate bag came out of that little room. Plus 8 giant pickle jars that I’ve decided to reuse as terrariums for a horticulture class…
I reorganized the linen closet.
Found out we need a new sheet set for our bed… found a hole in the second set… sigh.
Add that to the List.
Found out we’re still using towels from when we got married 16 years ago {frayed but most holding their own still} and there are 3 towels squashed in there- never ever used. They are now. 3 replacements means 3 went to the rag bin.
Check that off the List.
I weeded 3 garden beds.
And the List continues…
I have found that if I set one 15 minute project before myself each day to accomplish, I feel rejuvenated…
I make notes- writing down my accomplishments…
I need the reminders.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Amy! Hang in there! I just traveled through (for the past two years) a very deep valley...still not quite out of it yet. My heart hurt and still hurts but I do see light at the end of the tunnell...rays of hope. I am sure you know those valleys are instrumental in molding us into the likeness of Christ so that eventually when others see us, they see Christ. I never knew Him like I do now...sweet bonding. I am grateful. Would not have that if it wasn't for the pain.

    I hear your pain in your words...it is tough to feel such pain as you try to create a happy home for your children & husband. I remember that kind of hardship when I went through my divorce 12 years ago. Not an easy task. He will never leave thee nor forsake thee.

    Hugs, Carolyn ~ Cottage Sunshine

    ReplyDelete

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